words

i feel so disconnected. i'm going through the motions yet i'm not even living. these holidays i've gone out every single day, i'm constantly exhausted. yet looking back, i don't think i'm even enjoying myself. i'm just doing things to keep myself from boredom and dissatisfaction, and i just can't seem to appreciate simple happiness anymore. tonight i lay on the trampoline in the heat, watching the setting sky, listening to ten second epic and reading the perks of being a wallflower. simple moments like this only caused me to feel lonely, rather than content. i don't know what's happening to me anymore.

and it seems that lately, the only songs i feel i can connect to are in different languages. if that doesn't validate my aforementioned point, then i don't know what does. i seem to be unable to express myself anymore. words never fail me, but now they have. i am at a total loss.