tree village

wishful thinking.
that's all this is.

this weekend has been the best in a long time. soundwave, berwick show, rhian's 18th, rolling down hills, lack of sleep/minimal homework. sure, my education may be lacking at the moment. but it's so worth it.


all i've done is fuck up my vocal chords and dance alot. hahah. best.
also, i'm fucking broke.

hollow crown

quiet satisfaction.
i know i shouldn't, but i do.
i'm trying to be a better person this year, but it's kind of difficult when circumstances arise that could hinder a person but ultimately benefit you. who said we weren't selfish creatures? i want to be happy, i really do.
i just don't believe my path to happiness is free of destruction. it's really not. i think i'm bulldozing the fucking way. may have possibly run over someone. but i'm trying, i really am

until you can sleep sound.

soundwave 2010

collective sweat.
my ears are still ringing.
architects and dance gavin dance were fucking amazing.
there were some low points but mostly high points.
i don't want to go to bed, even though i probably should.
pure, simple happiness is the best, especially when it hasn't been experienced in a long time. i think i can hear thunder.

in a lonely place

somehow i feel very lonely.
yesterday, we made the best of a shit situation and i momentarily forget and had fun. then i left to go home, and when i got home the regret, loneliness and paranoia crept up behind me. i couldn't sleep last night, and when i did, i tossed, i turned, i thrashed.

regret is such an ugly word. i'm left here today by myself, with only year twelve for company, to sit and comtemplate the day ahead of me. this storm, the rain; they cannot come fast enough.

i am craving company so badly. but only from a certain person, and he'll never hear my call.

i always cry in front of the boys i like.
it's almost pathetic.

on a side note, there may possibly be a god.

shall never lose its power

life is fucking strange, i can't stop smiling and the strangest things are happening in the most understated way. i think i'm in love and it's fucked up because there's no chance but i feel as though there's someone who i can talk to and be 'myself', whoever that is i have no idea, but with him everything becomes more tangible and i begin to like myself more, or something else erratically unexplainable and possibly insanity inducing. this past week has been incredible unimaginable, from the beach last friday in fucking cold weather, bonfires and bikinis, a totally killed social life, nearly fainting after my event in the last swimming carnival ever, the year twelve jump, monash university, paper hat party on the train, chillin' at the library with wonderful people, new traditions and imaginative rides to school with the most unlikely passenger, late nights and lack of sleep due to drowning in homework and unbearable heat, fleeting infatuation and immature escapades, and endless badminton tournaments.

i'm overcome with nostalgia, but its only the beginning of the end. there's so much left to come, and when it happens, that when it all really begins. it's kind of ironic how i've spent my whole life wanting to get out of high school, and now that i can see the end i'm starting to appreciate the friends, the memories, the opportunities, the experiences. i'm starting to like life, in all its quirky surprises and unlikely coincidences. here's to the future, to possibilities.

sound and fury

Attention and words is all I have. These are inseparable; I cannot have words without people listening, or listening without words to listen to. I can speak and vocalise every single thought running through my head, but that will only degrade the quality of what is spoken, and no one will listen anymore. Then it will be silence bar the beatings of my heart, and the air that you breathe. I can listen to those forever, and words cannot express.

so it turns out i was way on over my head.
but that's okay, as everyone else was also haha

uni was insane. so intimidating, so weird, so much fun. so much work also, i can't even think in japanese anymore haha. goodbye life, i'll see you next year. in japan, i reckon. that sounds like a plan, eh?