only something you could say

words words words. i don't know how or when or why this happened, but i just can't deal with anything right now. to put it simply, i'm a mess. three hours ago i was completely content, but nothing ever stays that way. i want to get out, but it seems like i'm trapped in these four walls. i don't even know why i'm like this, i hate the way i shift so unpredictably, in such a manic fashion that confuses even myself. i dislike the fact that i'm quite adept at lying to even myself, and its times like these where i realise who exactly i've been fooling. i thought writing and speaking would make it all better, yet nothing seems to be helping. i thought it would make it all go away, but all i'm doing is bitching and turning into someone i may not even like. i thought i could cope. i guess i thought i was stronger than this.