life is just overwhelming at the moment. last week i was a recluse, not leaving my house and struggling through school. planning my life once i got out of here. thinking of myself, as usual. i'm so fucking selfish. i got so negative about my life because my friends were moving on without me. i'd sit at home on saturday nights and wonder what the fuck went wrong.
and now? shit. i'm beginning to see the bigger picture. i've never been good at drawing, but i've comprised quite a comprehensive sketch. this past weekend i left the confines of my room and actually started going out again. shit. and within days i've been overwhelmed with all the shit going on. sucide, death, depression, eating disorders, bullying. it seems like god's throwing all my selfishness in my face by blatantly pointing out how unfucked my life really is. and i'm not even religious, but i swear there's something more out there. i refuse to believe the world is a bleak as this picture i painted. and even i am affected by things that barely even concern me. people i don't even know. problems i shouldn't even be aware of. but i am, and that makes all the difference. the end
and back to writing prepping for my literature essay on king henry IV part one. but fuck. now i can't concentrate.
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