why am i always the last to fucking know ? what kind of fucking person treats you like that, not even bothering to fucking tell you, yet telling everyone else & causing me to find out from other people, which is not only fucking low but also embarrassing as when something that is not anyone's business suddenly everyone knows ... except you. & at the last possible minute, fucking times it well ... right now everything that could possible go wrong is a complete disaster, i am a total mess, i think i am losing my friends and spiralling downwards in complete emptiness it feels like. i'm just going through the motions mechanically waiting for something to change, to break free of this monotonous cycle and just waiting for things to actually work out for a change. & right now i'm being suffocated with the whole pitying shit, which i do not want/need. spent half the night in tears, am a loser.
not to mention a chair fell on me today & i have this mass bruise on my leg. thanks a fucking lot.
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