have heart

so i can't even begin to explain how much this band means to me.
they've made me cry so much in the past four days.
everytime i watch that video from the castle i cry. i watch it pretty much ten times a day. i've had their music on repeat for the past few weeks. i've listened to nothing else. except i was listening to kelly clarkson today :s but that does not count. :|
have heart are just so amazing.
its insane how amazing they are.
they are, insanely amazing

patrick flynn is the most lovely person everrrrr. i swear, he is my hero. there just aren't enough men like him. i could rave about him for ages. which is all i've been doing the last three days or so. raving about him. yeaah.

seeing them on sunday was easily the best show i have ever been to, just from their set. that's how amazing they were. words cannot express what an impact they have had on my life. words cannot express how content i was just to see them play.

yet i wish i could have seen them more than once.
i wish i had more fucking freedom
or more conviction
or less of a notion of right and wrong. obeying and disobeying. less of a conscience. i just wish i had the courage to run away. cause right now, that's all i want to do. i feel as though i'm being suffocated by staying here. but i can't leave. i learnt that last night. i could have seen them one final time.
but i went straight home.
i'm just so weak. i hate that.




more than music, its a life.